tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7973994758641403598.post5818301333585064060..comments2023-09-19T04:35:47.067-04:00Comments on Loving A Widower....a blog by author Julie Donner Andersen: Feeling Like W's Mistress?Julie Donner Andersen. authorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03762949807031902269noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7973994758641403598.post-31082686910494894862014-02-27T11:07:10.400-05:002014-02-27T11:07:10.400-05:00Sometimes it feels as if I am in another codepende...Sometimes it feels as if I am in another codependent relationship.. As if I were dating an alcoholic. Seriously I have had many men want to marry me, but I am extremely leary of the baggage they carry.. Woman are nurturing by genetically predisposed inherited traits of "mothering....NATURE... IT IS HOW WE ARE TUNED... Every one is different and bereavement is in stages.. The final is letting Go... Be leary of men whom have not fully let go...Or It will be your folly.. Honest, trust, respect and open communication is the best... talk.. talk.. talk.. If ur W is not receptive to your needs, then move on... as it is no different then being married to an alcoholic.. I believe a Ws thought and behavior patterns can be obsession , to the extent of addictive personality disorders... Be careful... and do not get caught up in their behavior. REMEMBER your not their therapist... Tell them how u feel, measure the percentage of time they spend obsessing and your tolerance level.. We all come with baggage... If u dont like the bananas then jump off the banana boat!,,, my motto... Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7973994758641403598.post-56896685549441610762012-06-01T10:29:08.779-04:002012-06-01T10:29:08.779-04:00Anonymous ladies...it would take up a lot of space...Anonymous ladies...it would take up a lot of space here to respond to your issues as they can be quite complicated to explain, so please join me at the Official WOW/GOW Message Board (at my website: juliedonnerandersen.com), wher ethere is ample space and LOTS of ladies similarly situated who can help. You are NOT alone!Julie Donner Andersen. authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03762949807031902269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7973994758641403598.post-71944348228175433612012-05-29T18:25:14.399-04:002012-05-29T18:25:14.399-04:00Met a great guy who lost his wife 14 months ago af...Met a great guy who lost his wife 14 months ago after a long battle with cancer. We have been together exclusively over 5 months now. I have yet to meet anyone from his side nor has he yet agreed to meet any of my friends or family. I feel like a complete secret. He recently came back from a weekend with his family, I asked him if he told them he was dating and he said no. What for to discuss Cindy's replacement? I explained it wasnt like that and he agreed but the comment was strange. Her things are still in place as well as her ashes in the living room w/her picture. He still wears her wedding rings around his neck but takes them off when he's with me. His inability to make weekend plans away or even give me flowers or anything romantic is still absent. So glad I found your site. I do understand the situation a bit better but still feel not right about so many of the above since we spend at least 3-5 days a week together. He rarely discusses his LW with me as well. Not sure how much time to give the situation but am running out of patience. Any help is appreciated.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7973994758641403598.post-32112933415957277752011-08-31T00:58:14.574-04:002011-08-31T00:58:14.574-04:00It is tough being a GOW. I met him about 14 mos af...It is tough being a GOW. I met him about 14 mos after the death of his wife. Not sure if I should continue this realationship. It has its ups and downs and lately more downs then ups. I know communication is a key but when he dosen't talk what do you? I have tried email, but that seems so....JanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7973994758641403598.post-82524639814903248332011-04-29T12:30:03.135-04:002011-04-29T12:30:03.135-04:00I can't agree enough with Anonymous' senti...I can't agree enough with Anonymous' sentiments, for I am experiencing them painfully myself right now. Indeed, "the hardest thing is not knowing whether patience and perseverence will pay off" or whether it is "all a waste of time." Indeed it is a blind act of faith and trust. Well said, as was the blog entry that prompted the comment in the first place--deeply affirming of my own experience dating a widower.periphronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09664018306339093060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7973994758641403598.post-53057748180746684342011-03-10T16:30:52.454-05:002011-03-10T16:30:52.454-05:00I thought this blog was excellent, Julie since I h...I thought this blog was excellent, Julie since I have indeed been feeling rather like my W's mistress recently! Since meeting five months ago we have had an excellent connection - until the last three weeks or so when latent grief has surfaced and he has been in his cave.<br /><br />Had it not been for your website and book, I wouldn't have understood all the issues surrounding latent grief and the cave. It makes it all much easier knowing that what is going on is fairly normal and that many of us are suffering together!<br /><br />The hardest thing is not knowing whether patience and perseverence will pay off - or is it all a waste of time? It's all a bit of a blind act of faith.<br /><br />All the best to you and my fellow GOWs!<br />KateAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com